A recent report by the Independent National Youth Arithmetics (INYA) has found that your busted arse secondary school maths and history teachers have no idea that half the shit they are teaching you could easily be sourced from a couple of built-in apps that come with the smartphone you are currently trying to hide from them.

Mr Gary and Mrs Schuster are reportedly both unaware of the fact that the eight textbooks you are being forced to carry between classes are completely redundant given the technology that students as young as six-years-old are familiar with.

Lead researcher, Professor Bob Gonskee says some teachers don’t even realise that phones can access the internet, and are never going to be familiar with just how much students are able to cheat – especially in those schools that make them use laptops.

The calculator app, while basic and seldom used, is still faster at solving mathematical equations than most baby boomers are when left without a pen and paper.

This however, is irrelevant to the teachers who think the internet is overrated and will never compare to real life problem solving.

“Now today, ladies and gentleman, we will be focusing on algebra” says Mr Gary, to his class of 25 – of which 24 will never be required to utilise these skills ever again in their life.

“Please, can you open up your textbook to page 56 and your notebook to page 37 and watch me as I explain things that you probably won’t ever need to use but still are required to study for the next two years”

“Nathan! Put your phone away”



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here