In a display of heart pumping, adrenaline-junkie behavior, local resident Eli Mercer (29) made a bold move by deciding to grab a slice of pizza from a sketchy kebab shop at 3 am.

After a night out in Betoota’s French Quarter, Eli had started feeling that old familiar need to fill his stomach before morning.

While passing by the usual late-night fast-food joints, he hesitated to enter the crowded, zoo-like fast food chains on the main strip.

Then he spotted a beacon of hope.

5-star-Türkiye-Kebabs, its fluorescent sign flickering, caught Eli’s attention, and the nostalgic tunes of 1990s Turkish pop drew him in like a soothing lullaby.

Known for serving customers only in the early hours and not exactly known for its top-notch hygiene, this hidden gem of a kebab shop has managed to survive for over three decades, serving lone wanderers heading home after a night out – and possibly laundering money for the bikies on the side.

“We serve kebabs, pizza, chips, and a can of coke for $2 with any meal. 50 cent surcharge if you pay with card,” explained Mehmet Aydin (48), co-owner of 5-star-Türkiye-Kebabs.

“But you wouldn’t do that would you? haha”

While Eli is no stranger to indulging in an early morning kebab, on this particular night, he made a risky decision.

“Don’t get me wrong; I love a good kebab, and anyone who knows me can vouch for that.” Eli explained.

I just didn’t want to wait too long in there in case I needed to piss, and I thought to myself, ‘How bad can a pizza slice really be?'”

With the courage of a Evel Knievel, Eli opted for the pizza slice.

Observers noted that even the store owner, Mehmet, appeared concerned but followed Eli’s request, sliding the slice into a paper bag that had become transparent before it even reached Eli’s hands.

Recounting the experience to the Advocate, it was obvious that Eli was deeply affected by the entire ordeal.

“The pizza was strangely both moist and stale at the same time. I almost felt like I was having a drink with the amount of oil that came with it” he shared.

Despite the lingering trauma, Eli did acknowledge the affordability of his late-night choice.

“Can’t deny that $3.50 is a pretty good deal for a slice like that”

“It filled me up, and I was drunk enough to manage it. In this economy, you can’t even get a small order of fries for $3.50 at McDonald’s.”

“My advice would be that make sure you are full of rum and beer if you’re gonna do the same. It’s a makeshift immune system at that time of the night”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here