8 December, 2016. 19:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

AFTER STARING BLANKLY OUT the window for a number of years after he retired, Graham Cool-Ridge wondered what he’d fill his days with now he’s got nothing do.

He tried golf and bridge. Just last year, he found some of his son’s marijuana hidden in his sock draw, so he rolled up a sticky one and watched the sun go down.

But nothing gave him the thrill he lost after giving up his post as the director of a small-to-medium sized consultancy business.

“That was until I started writing letters to newspaper editors,” explained the 71-year-old chrome dome. “That’s what got me out of bed in the morning. I’d pick a topic each morning and just write a stern letter about it. It was fun.”

Some of the topics that Mr Cool-Ridge has covered over the past year have included his fear over Islamic immigration, the amount of power held by Jewish people in Sydney’s property market and the price of both unleaded and diesel fuels.

Much like his spiritual leader Andrew Bolt describes himself, Graham is reluctant to call himself ‘right-wing,’ opting for the term ‘conservative.’

That facet of his personality and moral compass has alienated him from his 28-year-old-full-time-live-at-home-son Graham Jnr, who spends much of day reading about serial killers and sending lewd messages to women he’s met once on social media.

The Advocate spoke briefly with Junior earlier this afternoon via Skype.

“Dad hates the ABC and the ‘gender-benders’ at the SBS. He loves the Courier-Mail and often sends letters to them which aren’t fit to print. The ones that have been published are hung in our hallway,” he said.

“He has some serious issues.”



  1. Dear Sirs,

    As a Western Australian I commend you for targeting this wastrel and jolly-well giving him what for.

    Any layabout youngster like him who uses precious time complaining about second-order issues at the expense of exposing the massive crimes against humanity being perpetrated by this nation’s GST scandal deserves to be flogged within an inch of his life and then some, and taunted until he starts crying hysterically. There should be no quarter given with oafs of this sort, and if I wasn’t in a secure ward at present I’d come around to his premises and force his head down his long-drop lavatory and then ransack his house for as much stolen GST money as I could find.


    Ron Muppet


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