Barnaby Joyce’s skin tone has today reached a never-before seen shade of dark crimson, after the newly sworn in leader of The National Party spends the week in and out of an array of licensed venues between Tamworth and Canberra.

This comes as Mr Joyce returns to all the cabinet positions he held prior to realising he was a Kiwi and ineligible to hold any of them – in turn restoring the Government’s working majority in the Lower House.

A week after thrashing a band of nameless political rivals in the New England bi-election, Mr Joyce is being restored to his roles of Deputy Prime Minister and Agriculture and Water Minister, and in doing so handing the Prime Minister back a crucial vote on the floor of the House of Representatives.

Speaking to the Betoota Advocate today, Mr Joyce’s face resembled that of an Irish 457 visa-holder after 24-hours in Bondi.

“It’s been a big week” he said.

“In fact, it’s been a big month. My campaign was essentially just a big pub crawl from Quirindi to Glen Innes”

“…and then of course I had to celebrate the win with another one between Tamworth to Canberra”

Mr Joyce’s reddish features are collaquiolly known as the ‘RSL tan’ – a look that is common with middle-aged punters who like to wear loud Hawaiian shirts in leagues clubs.

While Joyce is yet to develop the ‘Barrister’s Nose’ – the warm colours that make up his skin tone have now out-redded his predecessor Tony Windsor, a fellow red-faced New England man.



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