The Royal Commission into Misconduct in the Banking, Superannuation and Financial Services Industry has announced today that banks could come under fire for letting pissed morons use PayWave when paying for 13 jagerbombs.

The Royal Commission into banks has already heard horror stories about predatory lending and dodgy financial advice, and Commissioner Mr Kenneth Hayne QC is now set to turn the microscope upon the ethics of allowing cooked men and women to tap and go at licensed venues.

The Commission is set to examine whether banks have skirted ethical obligations and financial services regulations in their rollout of the popular PayWave feature which allows customers to simply hold their card over the top of a POS machine to process payment.

“It’s become evident, that we need to lead a line of inquiry into how Banks and Credit Unions have been allowing their customers to purchase alcohol without having to be confronted by the ludicrous amount they are pissing away,” Hayne said in the hearing today.

“I myself have been personally victimised by payWave. I mean, I can’t get stung too bad by the feature, because of the calibre of red I drink. If I am ordering more than a couple of glasses, or a bottle, it goes over the 100 dollar threshold and so I have to actually put my pin in,” Hayne told our reporters.

Byron Matterson (29) is one of the victims set to give evidence to the commission tomorrow, speaking about how the feature has often left him on the two-minute noodle diet.

“Well, after a few beers it just becomes all too easy. You just hand over the card. Tap and go. Same again. Same again. And then all of a sudden you are checking your bank account the next day and you’ve gone and pissed the better part of a days work up against the wall,” Matterson said.

“It’s the fact that you don’t have to be confronted by your behaviour, or the amount of money you are spending, that allows you to just keeping rolling with that hedonistic buzz.”

“It’s not right.”

We contacted NAB, the Commonwealth Bank, Westpac and ANZ for comment, but none of them responded to our requests.


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