Most of Australia is today enjoying a day off in celebration of the birth of a Royal Family member that isn’t Princess Diana.

As is a tradition, the 2nd Monday of June is a national public holiday to celebrate the Queen’s Birthday for everyone except WA and ironically Queensland, who instead choose to make up different dates.

The fact that the current long weekend in now way aligns with Queen Elizabeth’s birthday is lost on most, as people take this moment to think about how much they loved Diana and how they will never be able to forgive the rest of the Royal Family for the way she was treated in life and in death.

Campaigners for an Australian republic and our nation’s remaining Monarchists alike are also today thinking about how pointless our relationship with the British crown will be when the Queen carks it.

“I just hope she keeps visiting us every two decades” says one distraught Monarchist who can see the writing on the wall.

“What on earth will we put on the front cover of our women’s magazines if we don’t have a direct relationship with the British Royal Family?”

However, one local Republican by the name of Michael* Turnbull says he thinks if we are going to have a public holiday recognising royalty in Australia, it would be more appropriate to celebrate the 4th of June. An anniversary of Shane Warne’s ‘ball of the century’ against English batsmen Mike Gatting in the 1993 Ashes.

“England still play a big part in the Australian identity” he said.

“That is when we wipe the floor with them at Lord’s every couple of years”

* Names have been changed to protect high profile Australian politicians from the wrath of their conservative Anglophile colleagues.


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