EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Despite many flood engulfed towns begging the government for just a sliver of support or and even resorting to crowdfunding for helicopter rescues, one city has luckily been able to incur some swift action without the help of social media campaigns or the media.

It’s alleged the city of Cronulla had started to experience some light rain and small gusts of wind, which caused a wheelie bin to topple over – though it should be noted that the wheelie bin was in fact empty, and without rubbish to anchor it down.

Though the government was slow to react to places such as Lismore, choosing instead to slowly roll out a few thousand troops and the Hemsworth brothers (minus the god of thunder himself), Prime Minister Scott Morrison is reported to have quickly leapt to action when news hit that his home town might be in danger. Because as history has clearly shown us, Scotty seems incapable of having empathy until it affects something close to his heart.

Rolling out 40,000 ADF troops within a matter of hours which would have been an impressive feat if it wasn’t so glaringly hypocritical) Cronulla is now adequately prepared, should it’s tinkle of a sprinkle evolve into something worse. And though many people have criticised these effects, considering Cronulla isn’t one of the cities forecast to be most impacted by the rain, it’s not like the government is used to listening to the opinions of scientists anyway.

It’s unknown if the troops stationed there will be tasked with helping out any more affected cities, but weary Queenslanders admit it’s highly unlikely given Scotty has now turned his focus to building an ark, leaving many to wonder if his short attention span is the result of some undiagnosed ADHD or just negligence. 

More to come.


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