After failing to appeal to ordinary Australians by appearing on Q&A and public transport, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull is taking a different approach to his public image by letting you know that if you knew what being condescending is, you’d know that he’s not being condescending.

“I’m just speaking in an intelligent manner which is something not everyone understands. But I ask you; don’t you think the Prime Minister should be smart? Or at least sound smart?”

Following his failure to gain support from conservatives due to his centrist views and failure to gain a leftist following due to never acting on said views, Prime Minister Turnbull hopes his new positioning will gain the support of people who don’t know what being condescending is and don’t immediately make the connection between it and him.

“I have to get the message out to Australians, many of whom do not know what the word condescending means. Education isn’t as good in the west so we’ll start there. That’s Labor’s fault by the way.”

Not everyone is convinced by Turnbull’s new strategy, notably political commentator, Laurie Oakes who stated: “Turnbull’s strategy could not be more obviously false if he did it while eating a mouthful of shit while wearing plastic devil horns.”

Despite this, Turnbull continues to deny claims of being condescending and out of touch towards the Australian public.

“I understand people apprehensions. Not everyone can understand negative gearing or renewable energy but I can, so just trust me when I tell you I’m not being condescending because I know these things.”


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