ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A few short years ago, Marty Dollarhyde was playing Golden Oldies league with his old Betoota Dolphins teammates from the late 1960’s.

He’s given that way now, his knees and hips are simply shot.

But back then, that didn’t stop the barnstorming 70-year-old from putting the shoulder into a broken body or two.

His friends and family laughed and giggled when he took on the wrong defender and ended up being lifted way beyond the horizontal and speared dangerously into the cricket pitch.

Even Marty laughed.

However, that was then and this is now.

In front of his small family, he fell down two short steps this morning in his boutique Betoota Grove home.

They gasped, somebody even screamed.

Marty couldn’t get his arms out in time and the floor raced up towards him.

The rich Oregon floorboards negatively geared his internal organs as he let out a soft moan.

“Marty!” screamed his wife, Julia.

“Dad! Oh My God! Are you OK?” added his daughter, Megan.

He could only roll over onto his side.

A loud ringing in both ears indicated that his head and bounced on the ground like a schoolyard tennis ball.

The taste of blood emerged in his mouth.

With all his might, he tried to wiggle his toes. They wiggled.

Speaking to The Advocate a short time ago from his private hospital bead, the septuagenarian said he suddenly feels old.

“I feel a bit worse for wear,” he said.

“A few years ago I would’ve been fine. God damn my body hurt, the doctors say I could be in here for a week or two. Jesus wept, I’ve got property to invest in and a job to hog,”

“My family just stood around me after the fall and gasped. They thought I was dead. My son-in-law could barely hide his disappointment when he came to visit just before. Am I that old?”

More to come.


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