A local bad boy 15-year-old is on top of the world today, after successfully pulling off his older brother’s ID at a local bottle shop.

Alex Britten has rocked up to a local park in South Betoota at dusk this afternoon, in preparation to get as drunk as humanly possible before the school holidays end.

After finding roughly eight dollars in gold and silver in the centre console of his recently-divorced dad’s 2006 Toyota Celica, Alex was able to purchase four litres of Fruity Lexia, encased in a plastic silver flagon.

This bold transition into adulthood has made Alex quite popular with the five mates, who are expecting be joining him as they vomit up basement priced white wine at approximately 10pm

The group of friends, which is made up of 3 guys and 3 girls, are yet to experience the joys of a house party with music playing – so have opted to just pash each other in a park for roughly four hours.

While each parent assumes each kid is at another parent’s house, the intentional communication break down within their tight-knit community has made for a perfect window for the teenagers to do exactly what it is that their parent’s fear more than anything. Drink goon and hook up.


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