The 3-month-old Tamworth pub yarn involving Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce’s whirlwind return to young fatherhood has finally made it to Sydney media outlets today, leading the rest of the nation to wonder how fucking stressed the big bloke must have been over the last six months.

The Daily Telegraph, and equally as untrustworthy print newspapers have today revealed that the Nationals leader is reportedly expecting a baby with one of his former staff members, Vikki Campion.

Ms Campion, 33, a former journalist and deputy chief of staff of The Daily Telegraph left Mr Joyce’s office in April last year.

Tamworth local Toby Archsweeney says he didn’t even vote for Barnaby, but can’t help but commend him for keeping it together of the next few months.

“Fuck the bloke was very close to be an unemployed divorcee. In fact, it sounds like he was a for a moment there”

With the pressures of his citizenship saga, baby mama drama and a last minute 2017 byelection, it seems Barnaby Joyce could use another holiday to Mooloolaba.

It seems that the news medias slow catch up on this particular story, which everyone in Tamworth has known for months, is a pure result of the fact that most journalists and many other politicians have had very similar things happen in the own personal life.

“I can’t talk” said one anonymous Press Gallery veteran.

“No one can talk”


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