Sydney-based drug dealer, Jordan*, says that he’ll making a fair few trips to the city over the next couple days.

With the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras just around the corner, he is receiving text messages from all walks of life. From bartenders to investment bankers.

As would be expected, early March is a great time of the year for business in the illegal drug sales sector. Jordan and his colleagues predict that they’ll move roughly 40 kilograms of powdered MDMA this week alone. From abandoned rental homes in Liverpool, straight into the mouths of a shirtless partygoers on Oxford street.

“That’s not even including the coke or any of those obscure other drugs they do” he says.

“These blokes just gobble it up, but fuck me you have to work for it”

Jordan says that dealing to overexcited gay people before the Mardi Gras is one of the most gruelling parts of his job.

“The lesbians are usually pretty straight down the line. In and out kind of stuff… But I’ll tell you what, these blokes in the East don’t mind a chat”

“Most of the year I’m dropping off bags of coke to rowdy tradies in footy club car parks. Its a breeze, they know I’m there for one reason and they know to not fuck around”

“But a pre-Mardi Gras gay, mate… It’s like they want to adopt me. All the pet names and the emojis… They don’t seem intimidated in the slightest”

With his phone currently ‘blowing up’ with flirty text messages, Jordan has gone and bought himself some new clothes and lined up a sharp new haircut. He says it’s all a part of “walking the walk”.

“Everything aside, this is a very important market for me”

“I’ve had a couple hundred vials of GHB I’ve been trying to get rid of for months. I reckon I’ll be able to move them all this weekend”

“I’ve just got to be firm with the etiquette. These blokes will flat out call me at 6 am asking me if I can drop 45 caps off to a key party in Bondi”

“I mean, yeah I can, but I’m staying in the car. Meet me out front”


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