After a few long months off the piss, a local bloke is now perfectly comfortable heading to the pub for a night out with his mates and not touching a drop.

Local sales gun, Brendo (29), wouldn’t describe himself as ‘in recovery’ but as a professional who is required to suck piss for a living, he started to see very little difference between his social life and work life.

That’s why he decided to give it away for a little while, to see if he could ever recapture the magic that comes from a night out with the boys.

In order to do that, he’s also had to prove to himself that he enjoys the company of his mates without an absolute skinful of full strength lager.

“I’m lucky I talk just as much shit sober. They certainly don’t notice the difference” says Brendo.

“The only difference is I can call it at midnight and not push the boat out into some lowlifes living room until the early hours of the morning”

However, while he might’ve been able to give away the binge-drinking, this doesn’t mean that Brendo isn’t still looking for a way to desecrate his body.

Never one for a sweet tooth, Brendo is more about the extreme intake of high salt meals stacked with carbs.

That’s why he’s now recommending the boys catch up at specific pubs that suit his new desires.

Pubs that offer eating challenges.

“I already polished off the 2 kilo steak at the Lord Katter Hotel” he says.

“That was lightweight stuff”

As his mates fill themselves with liquid dinners, Brendo has still managed to found a way to be the centre of attention, as he packs every orifice of his body with pub grub.

“There’s a three-chook shnitty is the French Quarter I wanna try. Trying to get the boys to host their Friday night drinks there” he says.

“Also apparently, there’s this Japanese gastropub that does unlimited Sushi plates. I read online that the record is 30 dishes. I reckon I’ve got that covered”

When asked if his indefinite stint of sobriety has helped him navigate his previously stale lovelife, Brendo seems confused.

“Are you kidding?” he laughs.

“Would you go home with a bloke whose just consumed 19,000 Kilojoules?”

“It was never about that”

“But I’ve still managed to lose weight somehow”


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