CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has once again caused himself yet another long-term workplace injury, as he continues his nationwide campaign of pretending to look like he’s ever had to break a sweat.
This comes after a big work of nearly killing himself in workplaces right around the country, starting with a welding gaffe in the Northern Territory over the weekend.
The PM’s very close call with permanent loss of sight was then followed by an accident on the Port Of Botany, where he destroyed 43 freight containers while fucking around in a crane, before he was spotted lifting a 700 litre fridge with his back during a photoshoot with some removalists in Brisbane.
However, today Scotty appears to have put himself at risk of serious long term illness.
While visiting Adelaide’s marginal suburban electorates with a crew of photographers and cameramen in tow, Scotty thought he might try his hand at cosplaying as a construction worker for 2 minutes, while visiting the worksite of a residential renovation in Elizabeth.
The Prime Minister left his temporary workmates shocked, as he took it upon himself to start breaking up some dodgy looking fibro plaster that he found in the wall of a 1950s post-war workers cottage.
“Haha. Back on the tools!” shouted Scotty From Marketing, as he inhaled a lungful of highly dangerous fibrous crystals.
The shutters of cameras flickered as the tradesmen caught up in this photoshoot begged Scotty to put down the sheet of asbestos cladding and call in the professionals.
Unfortunately it was too late. The cameras were on, his face was in shot, he had to be seen to know what he was doing.
“Haha. This old stuff breaks up like a church wafer!” he roared, as he smashed another piece of the leading cause of work-related deaths in Australian history.
“This reminds me of when Jenny and I picked up a tidy three bedroom investment in Bronte back in the early 2000s”
“We spent hours working on the renos. Lucky my dad’s mates on local council were able to get the DA approved.”
“Scotty Morrison… More Like Scotty Cam!! hahaha”
“[coughs]”
“Haha she’s a bit dusty this old house!”
