A wealthy old codger who plays a lot of golf and has a double-barrelled last name is really worried about losing his inherent human right to voice one’s opinion publicly without fear of censorship or punishment.

Despite never really having someone tell him what to do at any point in his life, Hunter Kew-Knightly (59) says not being able to offend people is the first step towards losing every other privilege he has experienced as a white bloke born to money.

“Mate, everyone is entitled to an opinion” he roars, while drinking a $1000 bottle of red wine.

“Just because I’m not L,G,B,T,Q or I doesn’t mean I’m not an important person. I’m very important. Look at my property portfolio”

After suffering a knock to the back of the head while sailing a few months back, Hunter’s has decided that he might be getting a bit old to go out on the water after a skinful of aperol. This means both he and his wife are struggling to find ways to occupy him outside of golf and making sexist jokes at a local men’s club.

Luckily for both Hunter and his wife, Barb, the semi-retired CEO of a 3-rd generation family chain of nursing homes has discovered the internet – and can divy up his rampant white collar alcoholism with reading Andrew Bolt collumns.

Hunter feels gay marriage is the first step to people like him losing everything he has and don’t necessarily deserve.

“Free speech is fine when that Arab women from the ABC compares the ANZAC campaign to offshore detention centres, but when I refer to the waiter as a fucking poof I get cut off from the bar”

“It’s ridiculous. It’s out of control. It’s PC-gone mad”




Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here