Sun spots, a brief stint of unemployment and an illegitimate child. That was the year that was for the Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce.

Unlike his glorious headlines of 2016, which involved the Johnny Depp saga and the rescuing of local councils between Armidale and Tamworth – 2017/18 hasn’t been as kind to the Member for New England.

While there is little sympathy from most Australians, it appears the media have gone particularly soft of the big fella – mainly due to the fact that there was a big chance he could have been broken by them.

That’s if they had reported his recent baby mama drama at the same time as he was campaigning to win back his electorate after being found to be a New Zealand citizen and having to resign from like three cabinet positions and go back into election mode.


A recent report by Quitline has found that it is moments like these that former durrie fiends really struggle with staying on the wagon.

The study finds that 70% of people who get sun spots removed, lose their jobs and knock up a colleague in the same year will return to the habit.

“Fuck me” he’s lucky he got his job back, said a young father from Tamworth who has befriended Mr Joyce at Lamaze classes.

“Could’ve been in some real curry there”

“Reckon he’d be running at a few durries out the back of the Ministerial Wing. Might be better if does it alone”


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