Recently divorced men are a gold mine for any savvy, conscience-lacking businessman. And one local car salesman, arguably the most dishonest and conscience-lacking of them all, looks to capitalise on their misfortune by offering a special directly targeting the broken hearted.
Lionel Smithton (42) is in fact a divorcee himself, so it was his own experience that lead him to the following unique, yet common, insight: divorced blokes are irresponsible with their money.
“Yeah look it’s not everyone. But for most of us, when the shackles are off, we just go mad. I installed a XXXX tap in my house when my wife left me.” Said Lionel, momentarily being overcome with sadness before snapping back to the interview.
“Anyway, Menoporsche. D’you know what that is? It’s when blokes have a mid-life crisis and try to reclaim their youth by buying a sports car”
“Nah nah nah, I didn’t come up with it – it’s good but, isn’t it”
The Advocate understands that Lionel has entered into a silent partnership with the local BCF, and ultimate single man store, Mancavia, on Betoota’s east side.
“Yeah bloody hit ‘em why’ll they’re down I say. They’ve just bought a Porsche, what’s a new boat or a pool table to ‘em?”
While Lionel’s business practices may be morally wrong and opportunistic, they’re actually highly successful – Lionel’s car dealership and BCF are both the best performing stores in the whole of Australia, and if he continues on his current trajectory, the world.
More to come.