Long-time Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has announced today that she will be retiring from politics this week, as the last of Australia’s pandemic-era leaders to call it quits.

It is believed she will now look to do something completely different, and is currently tossing up between moving to Melbourne or London but yeah like most likely London.

This comes after the Premier went on a life-changing European gap year, that timed perfectly with the binfire that was the 2023 Indigenous Voice Referendum that she had previously supported before NewsCorp And Dutton turned it into a political football.

In the face of extreme scrutiny from conservative opponents, as well as a growing challenge from Queensland Greens on the left, Palaszczuk effectively retires on top.

Her last election win came as a landslide victory in spite of incessant harassment from the Murdoch machine, putting her in a safe enough position to be the first political figure to publicly criticise the Morrison Government’s near-criminal bungling of the pandemic response.

Aside from helping Albanese dispose of Scotty From Marketing, Palaszczuk has led a government responsible for the decriminalisation of abortion, legalising voluntary assisted dying in Queensland, an overhaul of domestic violence practices and securing the 2032 Olympic Games in Brisbane.

However, like all Labor Governments that have been in long enough to absolutely castrate their LNP coalition, it appears that the public service has been completely politicised under Palaszczuk – with a growing lack of accountability and a lot of questionable appointments.

And like all good runs in Queensland politics, Palaszczuk’s goodwill has run out with the Queensland voters, who are no longer as supportive of her leadership as they were when she locked down the borders for two years and openly vilified that Hillsong creep from Cronulla at daily press conferences.

Luckily for the 39th Premier of Queensland, she was looking at doing something different anyway.

“Yeah I’m gonna do the London thing” Palaszczuk told the reporters yesterday, like most tens of thousands of restless Queensland girls before her.

“I’m gonna find a sharehouse. Maybe Fulham or Notting Hill.”

“I’ve booked a one way ticket anyway. I’ll be landing on Christmas. Very Love Actually ahaha”


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