Making a huge deal about whether or not the LED lights inside a pedestrian’s streetlight make up the shape of a man or a woman is a great way to encourage people to vote for dangerous politicians, it has been confirmed.

Today it has been confirmed that pedestrian traffic lights depicting female figures will be installed in Melbourne’s CBD today as a part of a lobby group’s push for gender equality in street lights.

Ten female pedestrian figures will be installed on traffic lights at the intersection of Swanston and Flinders streets as part of a VicRoads-approved 12-month trial.

However one local leftie says this is offensive in itself.

“They just assume that all of these green and red icons identify as men?” said part-time Moroccan drum instructor, Niall Lupi.

“Assuming someone’s gender based on their appearance is barbaric”

“They shouldn’t have anything there. It’s all too offensive”

Recently retrenched Shepparton factory worker, John Birley (44) says that while he is aware of the need for gender equality in the workplace, he wasn’t aware of it being an issue for streetlights until twenty minutes ago.

“Mate, my eyes are so fucked from the dust and sparks in the factory that I can’t even make out the shape of those fucking things”

“I thought I was looking at a picture of a foot”

“But if voting for Pauline Hanson means I don’t have to listen to these precious city fucks complain about things like this, then so be it”

Country Greens NSW Senator Jeremy Buckingham says that while he does consider himself a progressive, he hopes to fucking christ none of the Sydney progressives try and pull something like this.

“To all these little lefties in Sydney’s inner-west, I have one request. Please don’t go full Melbourne on us. The last thing we need is a fucking revolt against any form of progressive politics”

“I’m a tree-hugging pothead from way back and even I know this is too far”


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