With Sydney growing into an unsustainable megatropolis, and more and more people commuting up to two hours each ways to work in the city, the argument for a speed rail network to Newcastle is as serious as it’s ever been.

The conversation around a bullet train has existed since the 1980s, with ambitious town planners pointing to Japan as an example of a nation that has the grit to get such a big project built.

Leading into his 2022 election victory, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese pledged $500m for fast rail, with Sydney to Newcastle the priority.

The PM said fast rail would open up a treasure chest of employment and education opportunities for the central coast and Newcastle locals.

Local business leader also welcomed the announcement to improve connectivity, with a tourism boost to the Hunter also expected.

After years of disunity between both federal and state politicians on the issues, the ball is now in the NSW Government’s court.

However, it seems that the Premier Chris Minns and his government are intentionally dragging the chain on the issue, not because of cost, but out of fear that Sydney will get a rude shock when thousands of blokes named Joel start pouring into the CBD each day.

“Just imagine it” says Minns.

“You’ve got your oat latte, you’ve got your copy of the Sydney Morning Herald’s Domain property listings under your arm, out for a walk with the rescue greyhound…”

“and them some bloke with a Newcastle postcode and the Knights logo tattooed on his bare torso says g’day to you”

“Like, he actually expects you to have a yarn with him, about the weather or the footy, just mundane chit chat”

“There’s a lot of people that don’t think Sydney is ready for this kind of infrastructure”

The NSW Government says their decision will not be based on the fact that the Sydney to Newcastle corridor has the largest regional passenger volume in Australia.

The Premier says it doesn’t matter if people are commuting 4 hours a day into Sydney, the priority will always be the comfort and property value of those who can currently afford to live near the Harbour.

“Newy has always struggled to assimilate with the rest of the state. They won’t be coming down here to work, they’ll be coming down to cause shit”

“They’ve always been quick to knuckle… And they always demand the pubs put on Silverchair or the Screaming Jets”


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