A club that hosted a grown man pissing in his own mouth only 18 months ago has today said that cocaine is a no-no, particularly when doing it in the days after their first ever premiership.

Premiership-winning Cronulla Sharks fullback, Ben Barba, has been sacked from the club following a positive drugs test.

The Sharks have released Barba from his playing contract to deal with personal issues in the latest twist in the troubled star’s career.

The club has been criticised for their disposable attitude towards Barba, who they wouldn’t have been able to win a premiership without.

“It’s fine” says Sharks CEO Lyall Gorman.

“We already have the premiership”

“As this is a very challenging time for Ben and his family, we would appreciate if the media could run with this non-story until they get bored and then we might resign him after the dust settles from his third character assassination in as many years”

“We are shocked and horrified that cocaine exists”


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