October 24th will see a radical new music festival for all Australian industry heads.

 Aimed at punters who love hearing all the classic excuses from yesteryear, Blokevibes 2018 has been flagged as the premier music festival designed for curators of other music festivals to get together and check out all sorts of awesome excuses.

 The festival will feature Australia’s most in-the-know heads, dialing it up to 11 and cranking out excuse after excuse. The inaugural artist line-up will feature an exclusive group of artists, set churn through their back catalogues of excuses as to why so many spots on artist bills are so full with really average white male blow-ins, rather than really great musicians who are also female.

 Expect to hear hits such as We Tried, It’s Harder Than You ThinkThat Band Has A Chick In It and the stone-cold classic, There’s A Lot Of Great Women Behind The Scenes.

 We spoke to the CEO of Knobfest, Ken Palmer, about putting the program together. “To be honest it was really easy putting all these excuses together” he said. “Heaps easier than putting together a diverse bill of quality music”. It will be really good though, cos I decided it’s really good and, believe me, I know what’s good”.

 “It will be an amazing opportunity” said the festivals co-co-ordinator, Samuel Armkosh

“An opportunity for people to throw their favourite Aboriginal flag t-shirt on and drink free beer. There’ll probably be a fucking tonne of rack, but even without drugs the attendees will be high on their natural-born superiority”.

 Tickets will be $2,657. But attendees will be in the industry so that’s motherfuckin’ tax-deductable guys.


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