Will Hyde (18) was unable to explain his uncharacteristically talkative mood today as he sat down for Easter Sunday lunch. His mother, Jane, on the other hand, thinks she has a pretty good idea of what might be at play.

“He’s still pissed!” Proclaimed Jane in that disapproving tone mother’s do so well.

“He sat next to that bloody cousin of his, Kurt, at dinner last night”

Will, who is usually a nervous mute, was more than happy to chew the ear off one of our reporters shortly after lunch finished, talking to us about how his cool older cousin took him out on the piss.

“Haha, how are you guys? Do you want a drink or anything? I’ll get back on it when mum’s not looking”

With Will’s slightly altered state, our reporters struggled to keep him on track. However, after a few subtle redirects, they managed to steer him back to the conversation at hand.

“Drinking is pretty cool, have you guys had rum before?”

“How about Baileys?”

The Advocate understands that Will has already messaged his close friends to inform them of his newfound thirst for the Devil’s elixir, putting his hand up to be in charge of bringing the rum to their next pre-drinks.
More to come.



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