As Good Friday kicks off the Easter long weekend, Stella Artwa (21) greets it with both excitement and anxiety, as she prepares to introduce the new love of her life, fellow 21-year-old Simon Lynch, to her extended family.

Lynch, who is currently living at one of Betoota University’s private colleges, has told our reporters that he’s quietly confident about meeting Stella’s family, even going as far as to say they’ll love him straight off the bat.

“Yeah, mate, pretty excited to meet the in-laws. Mate, I’ve just got a way with parents, you know how it is, mate” Lynch said with an air of arrogance that would rub anyone the wrong way.

The Advocate caught up with Dave Artwa, Stella’s older brother, shortly after the family had finished the seafood feast brought by their coasty cousin, to see what the consensus was on the new boyfriend.

“Yeah look fellas, he’s a bit of a pest to be honest.”

“Came out of the gates firing ‘mates’ left, right and centre. I’m all for calling people mate, mate, but he even called Nan mate. Like, show some respect, mate.”

Even Stella’s father, Nigel, struggled to find a kind word to say about him.

“He seemed nice enough, until he asked me how much money we think our house is worth, followed shortly by a sex story which I can only assume was related to my daughter.”

“That was when it went south”

With another 3 whole days to spend together, we suspect the only way Lynch could possibly redeem himself with the Artwa family is if he just doesn’t open his mouth and helps out heaps in the kitchen.

More to come.



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