Local media buyer, Samuel Madden, is currently enduring the unbearable pain of feeling a plastic bag of poorly cut cocaine burn through his trousers.

It’s a problem that he is familiar with, and one that he knows how to solve quite quickly. The only issue he has at this very moment is whether or not he is in the right company.

“I dunno hey. I mean, I know I’m a walking stereotype. But this is a pretty vanilla crowd here,”

“There’s not many red-teethed media pigs getting around. No one’s given me the nod yet,”

While taking part in an obscure staff drinks for his media buying agency, Ropedale Creative, Madden has realised this he’s one of the few ‘party boys’ who’s actually turned up.

This is annoying for the 28-year-old, as he’s had just enough beers to warrant doing a few slugs.

“I’m hoping a few more of the lads pull in a bit later. I can feel this bag burning a hole in my pocket,”

“It’s half full from last weekend and I don’t know how to interact with these people. I’d really like to give it a nudge,”

Cocaine use exploded in Australia in 2009, when executives and creatives found themselves surfing the giant commodities wave that left a high-water mark which has yet to be beaten.

As a successful young corporate creative, Samuel made the executive decision last weekend to take “two grand cash” out of two separate ATMs, so he didn’t have to make the midnight dash to the convenience store later in the evening.

“I don’t usually pull the pin when my nose is in the stockbroker’s trough, but I jagged a root and I don’t think she knew I was up to my eye balls in rack,”

“That’s why I’ve carried this bag on me all week, and I think a low key staff drinks with people I don’t know is a good enough reason to polish the lot off,”

With one of his more ‘affable’ clients pulling in through the front door, Madden signals to the side of his nose and whispers “NOW”.


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