LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In an increasingly tense political climate, bi-partisan consensus on mainstream issues appears harder to come by with the exception of Labor and Liberal both hoping to find more dirt on former Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce in order to distract the public from the Adani coal mine.
In the nearly four weeks since Barnaby Joyce resigned as Deputy PM amidst revelations of his affair with staffer Vikki Campion, both Labor and Liberal party members have developed a shared interest in finding out what else Barnaby is hiding in that red noggin of his and hoping it’s more interesting than a coal mine that will decimate the Great Barrier Reef.
As momentum for the proposed Adani coal mine continues to grow, both party leaders are firm on their stance that they’d rather not discuss the controversial coal mine and instead get back to working on unearthing more of Barnaby Joyce’s dirty secrets for the Australian media to devour.
During a recent press interview, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull dodged questions about the Adani coal mine by subtly bringing up Joyce’s private life.
“The Australian public is under the misconception that all coal is dirty, but it has nothing on the naughty goings on in Barnaby Joyce’s sex life. You can not find coal as dirty as what he’s into. Did you hear he might not be the father?”
Although the survival of a The Great Barrier Reef hangs in the balance, it seems that Australian politicians are committed to refocusing the public’s attention on the destruction of one family in rural NSW instead of one of the world’s natural wonders.
“Obviously it is an issue close to people’s hearts and it is important to preserve one of the world’s most unique eco-systems over off-shore profits but we will be providing jobs and – what’s that over there!? Barnaby’s rooting again, look!”
MORE TO COME.