With nothing positive to report to the nation after 6 months of shifting jab-roll-out targets and some very concerning climate change reports being tabled by the UN, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing is running out of chook feed to throw to the media.

With no more Olympics to distract us from his the fact that a vast majority of the nation will likely be in lockdown until October, Scotty has today had to work hard to speak about nothing in particular.

The fact that the 2021 AFL season is producing nothing but racism scandals is also not ideal – while the NRL hurtles towards the finals with almost the exact same results as last year’s comp.

So today, the Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has held a press conference where he told Australians that we are doing pretty good to have three-quarters of our aged care and disability workforce immunised, in the peak of another outbreak, that has lasted nearly 8 weeks.

“Anyway, those are good numbers” said Scotty.

“But lets stop talking about this boring pandemic for a minute..”

“Speaking of disabilities… who here is excited for the Paralympi…”

The Prime Minister was then cut off mid-sentence by the the collective groan of every Australian suffering the indignity of being locked in their homes in the middle of the day with nothing to do but watch our politicians lie to us.

“Scotty…” said Australian public.

“Hem hem”

With an open palm outstretched in front of the Prime Minister, Australians began demanding to know when they can expected to receive the proposed $300 jab incentive that they are owed for managing to find out how and where the fuck to get a jab.

“Less talky… More three hundji”


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