While out for coffee, visiting friend from Melbourne has turned heads today after ordering a croissant completely void of her usual ham and cheese, or as Sally Majcrowski (26)  referred to it: “French style!”

Reports are emerging from her friends back home that Majcrowski could be on a health kick, noticing how she accompanied her 10am breakfast with a Diet Coke in place of her usual Coke.

“I don’t know what has gotten into her. Her doctor has been warning her for years about diabetes. Did she watch That Sugar Film or something?”

At this time, it is also believed that Majcrowski made the change in the hope that she’d be able to use it as a subtle segue to talk about her planned Europe trip.

“Suddenly she’s saying France with a wide ‘a’ now and pronouncing place names with an accent. Her morning ham and cheese croissant has turned into a “croissant” which is not how she pronounced it before she moved south.

In the centre of all this, Majcrowski claims her elimination of ham and cheese kills two birds with one stone.

“Just cutting down the calories where I can and getting a taste of the continental life.”

Although her European trip is 13 months away, Majcrowski is committed to her healthy lifestyle choices in the lead up to her highly anticipated continental caper.

While having neglected it for 10 years, personal appearance is now suddenly important to Majcrowski whose sudden emphasis on having a trim figure has obvious ulterior motives.

“Hopefully a nice French man will buy me a croissant, waltz me down Champs-`Elys`eeses, look into my eyes and tell me I’m tres beau. Until then, no more fromage and jambon for me!”

“Melbourne guys are so shy. I know I said that about Brisbane guys 12 months ago, but I really think it’s Australians in general”

“Also the cwooorrrssants are better”


  1. très belle – the French guy would be pilloried by his peers if he got his grammar wrong, or indeed if she was in any way dressed not according to required standards of perfection


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