Metropolitan Melbourne’s 14-day case average is now 34.4 – as Victoria records only 11 new cases of coronavirus and two deaths.

Today’s results compare to 14 cases yesterday, and now marks the eleventh consecutive day the state has recorded a daily infections number of below 50.

The positivity can be felt right across Melbourne today, as Premier Dan Andrews hints that restrictions may ease ahead of schedule.

This rush of endorphins to the brains of the caged Victorians has all but overshadowed the growing anti-government sentiment that has been painted across social media and the newspapers, after the city spent more than 6 weeks in one of the most severe pandemic lock downs in the world.

Nicknamed ‘Dictator Dan’ – the Premier has been vilified by both his opponents and the media for his strong arm approach to neutralising the spread of COVID-19 virus, as it spiked to numbers as high as 721 new cases over a month ago.

However, at the same time, the premier has been staunchly defended by an army of ‘Dan Stans’ who make up the modern Victorian Labor base of mostly comfortable high-income inner city residents who have a lot more in common with Tim Smith than they would ever like to admit.

With two highly vocal political minorities yelling at each other, it is hard to know who best represents the greater public.

Is it the far-right private school boys of the modern Victorian Liberal party, who work day in and day out to undermine public health policies that speak for the Victorian people?

Or is is the moderate centrist private school girls of the modern Labor party, who work day in and day out to blame Scott Morrison and the NSW Premier for the many institutional failings that led to a catastrophic second wave in Melbourne.

Either way, one of these two camps is having a lot more fun than the other.

Unfortunately the #IStandWithDan camp will never understand how good it feels to sit behind a laptop and abuse Dan Andrews while your homeschooled children are throwing lego across the living room at 11 AM, and your recently single mother-in-law calls the home phone for 13th time in 12 hours because she is currently enduring a crushingly lonely divorce in the midst of a global pandemic that has forced her inside for 23 hours a day.

However, today, this pressure valve of abuse may have been rendered irrelevant, as Dan Andrews tells his state that despite the fact they have lost the Grand Final, rejuvenating live entertainment and sport is number one on the list of priorities for his government.

“This is gonna be a hot boy summer” said Premier Andrews.

“We are gonna get so lit”


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