The Beatlemania of Taylor Swift continues in Australia this week, months before the American pop singer even arrives for her ‘Eras’ tour in late February.

A new bundle of tickets for the Sydney show was released for sale at box office this morning at 10am, and newly available tickets to the Melbourne concerts will be on sale from 4pm as well.

Swift’s Eras tour broke Australian records earlier this year in June, when more than four million fans, colloquially referred to as ‘swifties’ rushed to snap up one of the 450,000 tickets that went on sale for the five concerts.

And now, with a new stash of tickets available across both cities, millions of young girls and middle aged homosexual men have spent the last 24 hours moving heaven and earth to get their hands on them.

Around the country once again, diehard swifites are taking time off work, or begging their dads to take time off work, in the pursuit of a night with their Pennsylvanian messiah.

However, with emotions running high, particularly in all daughter households, one local moron has caused insurmountable drama by making light of this manic chapter in pop culture.

Betoota man Russ Wharton (36) appears to have all but severed the once close bond he had with his daughters, Michaela (7) and Chloe (13), after giving them high hopes about the possibility of attending a Taylor Swift concert.

After both were let down by their unsuccessful attempts at spending every cent of pocket money buying tickets online in June, the Wharton daughters only had a flicker of hope that maybe their dad might be able to sort something out.

This kind of desperation is not really something to be made fun of, as Russ learnt this afternoon.

“Okay everyone in the kitchen. I’ve got a surprise” Russ said to his swiftie daughters, with his hand hidden behind his back.

Even as a self-admitted fucking moron, Russ definitely knew exactly where Michaela and Chloe’s optimistic minds instantly went to.

“WHAT!” shouts Michaela.

“YOU’RE KIDDING!!!” says Chloe.

Russ giggles.

“Just you wait” he says.

“Okay, everyone here?”

“Check this out!”

Russ reveals his surprise, an authentic fifth-generation talking robot toy Furby.

At time of press, the Wharton household had received several phone calls from both neighbours and the police – following three straight hours of high pitched screaming and door slamming.


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