Embattled Australian media empire, Network Ten, has today revealed that they have been kidding themselves by putting anything other than the tried and true favourites on air.

The iconic Aussie TV Channel’s current boss, a 25-year-old liquidator by the name of Andy, says his first decision was to get rid of their entire stable of digital channels, bring back the Simpsons and Seinfield, replace the Project with Neighbours and send 30 cameramen and sound guys to Dreamworld.

“The only reality TV show we will be broadcasting is one that involves a house full sex-crazy bogans from an array of different Australian towns”

“We don’t even need to have the Friday Night games. Just fill them with piss like they did in the early the 2000s”

The decision to return to their “Seriously Ten” format from the late 90s and early 2000s, has been met with condescending sniggers from rival networks, who think the only way to tackle online streaming is through more cooking and renovating TV shows.

Andy says if they want to squeeze any juice out of this thing before the entire TV program contracts get renewed – they need to be prepared to show up late footage of dreadlocked bogans masturbating at 9:30 sharp.

“We don’t even need the news. Boooooring. Just give the punters what they want”

“We also are going to need a milf to host this thing. Gretel’s still probably got it in my honest opinion”



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