A local bloke who currently suffering from thick nasal mucus has made it clear to his mates at the pub that he won’t be joining them for any extra-curricular activities tonight.

Neil Starkson (29) says he can see the writing on the wall, as each round of beers goes down better than the last.

“Nah. Not tonight boys” he says.

“It’d be a waste of money. I’m not forking out for anything if it’s just gonna get stuck up there”

While his mates inform him that what they have planned will be decongesting his nose if anything, the mid-level finance worker says that’s not good enough assurance for him to make a $300 transaction for the ATM outside the pub.

However, despite the sound excuse, Neil’s close mate Toby says it’s all a ploy to get a free bump”

“I’ve seen this play before” he says.

“Avoid throwing money in at the start of the night and then decide to test the airways out eight drinks later”

“He won’t be getting anywhere near the stockbroker’s trough if he decides to play it this way”


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