The recently-povo former Deputy Prime Minister has today continued in his quest for fast, easy cash.

After yesterday revealing that he’s had to sink as low as selling his favourite Mufasa ooshie, and Tamworth locals revealing that they’ve been seeing him front and centre every morning at the return-and-earn depot outside NSW Services – the Member For New England is now taking a punt.

Big risk, big reward. He’s riding into the wild west of cryptocurrencies.

After last week declaring he was struggling to get by on his parliamentary wage, which $280,000 package with taxpayer-funded car and telephone – Joyce is reportedly sick of being sneered at by his coalition colleagues – most of whom come from rich families and haven’t ever had to worry about having the safety net pulled out from underneath them.

But today, it’s seems he’s won them all over. At least the small-L Liberals, who say they are surprised by Barnaby’s open-minded approach to digital assets.

“Good stuff, Barnaby! It’s definitely the future. Just don’t load up too much” said Senator Paterson, the only millennial in the Liberal Party.

As Barnaby, a burnt out of Dirranbandi accountant, understands it, Cryptocurrency are like magically online coins designed to work as a medium of exchange that uses strong cryptography to secure financial transactions, control the creation of additional units, and verify the transfer of assets.

However, most of those words don’t mean much to the big fella, so he’s had to head down to Bondi to meet a bloke name Antonio – who reckons he knows the secrets.

“Know anywhere I can get some curried sausages down here?” Barnaby asks a Brazillian backpacker on Campbell Parade this morning.

“I heard this place was full of Kiwis. Was hoping for a bit of my cultural cuisine”

However, with clear language barriers – Barnaby was directed to the beer garden of the Beach Road Hotel, where he enjoyed a pulled pork brioche roll while avoiding conversation with Irish concreters looking for fights.

That was until Antonio arrived.

“Okay, my dude” said Antonio.

“How much are you willing to invest?”

Barnaby took a moment to ponder this.

“We’ll I’ve got 40 bucks in folded ones on me. And about 20 bucks in shrapnel, but I’ve gotta go get it from the cruiser” he replied.

Antonio sighed, before asking the Former Deputy Prime Minister if he’d be interested in a job with Deliveroo.

“I know the owners. Have you got a bike?”

Barnaby clarified that he did have a bike but it was back in Tamworth, before asking Antonio if he could borrow some fuel money.


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