On worksites across the country, Australia’s concreting professionals have today declared that Irish professional mixed martial artist and professional boxer Conor Mcgregor will knock out his upcoming opponent, Floyd Mayweather jnr, in just one round.

Ahead of what has been described as a ‘billion dollar fight’ between the two fighters, site supervisors around the country are currently having to defuse countless altercations between Irish and non-Irish combat sports fans.

“I can see why they are riled up – theres been like four days of nonstop media conferences” says the Honourable Darren Chester MP, Minister for Infrastructure and Regional Development.

The Irish Embassy to Australia has issued a statement today, apologising in advance for the next few months.

“Conor’s got nathin’ ter worry aboyt. ‘e’s a rayle fighter. dat mayweather is nathin’ but show. He’s all fookin show” says Bondi Junction local, Paddy O’Brien.

“”Arr boy Conor is gun to nook that kont out”

But it isn’t just the predominantly Celtic Australian concreting industry that are making the bold claims. The nation’s female traffic controllers, PR account managers and barstaff agree as well.

“Anyone who thinks the American will win is aving a fookin larf” said Maeve Shanassy (18) a fruit picker currenty living in the Riverina.

“Arr boy Conor as got this”


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