Several Thoughts And Prayers™️ manufacturers in the United States are hailing an economically unprecedented quarter, after seeing demand for their innovative new products skyrocket over the last few months.

Thoughts And Prayers™️, well-known for their ability to solve national tragedies and replace real political action, are seeing a surge in popularity in recent months, after a series of tragic and absolutely, completely unavoidable mass shootings throughout the US. Completely unavoidable.

“It really is remarkable how well we’re doing”, said local ‘Thoughts And Prayers™️ tycoon, J. C. Rist.

At first, we weren’t even able to keep up with the demand, given how frequently people are wanting to send ‘Thoughts And Prayers™️”

“Seems like every week we receive a new order!” 

“Luckily, we were able to pool together some additional resources – a bunch of well-meaning people on Facebook who added filters to their profile photos. That really gave us a boost”.

Despite the increased output, however, Mr. Rist doesn’t believe America’s need for his product is going to slow any time soon.

“The cool thing about Thoughts & PrayersTM is that, however many you manufacture, you’ll almost always end up needing to send more. There’s an endless demand for them”


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