Leader of The Opposition Anthony Albanese has been quick to shut down the growing suspicions that surrounds the Australian Labor Party’s legally grey relationship with both the Chinese government and prominent Chinese billionaires.

This follows revelations that the Chinese developer behind the multi-billion-dollar Gold Coast Jewel and One Circular Quay projects, Huang Xiangmo, handed over $100,000 in cash to former NSW Labor party boss Jamie Clements during a private meeting at his office, a corruption inquiry has heard.

Albanese, or Ni Halbo as he is known in the alleyways of Haymarket, has dismissed all claims that his party is basically a wishing well for Chinese dollars.

“No way…” says Albo, between slurps from his Lychee Bubble Tea.

“Not us. We aren’t in bed with the Chinese”

Albo briefly choked up while trying to swallow a black pearl that had been caught in his windpipe, before continuing the press conference.

“Well.. Except for Dasher [former Federal Senator Sam Dastyari] hahaha”

“But that was a one-off. It’s not like Sam was a big deal within the party or anything’

The NSW anti-corruption watchdog – The Independent Commission Against Corruption (ICAC) conducted its first public hearing of a six-week-long inquiry into allegations concerning political donations yesterday.

ICAC will investigate if the state Labor party bent donation rules and laundered up to $100,000 in suss donations during a secret 2015 Labor Party fundraiser in Sydney’s Chinatown.

Then-Labor leaders Bill Shorten (federal) and Luke Foley (NSW) were there, along with federal shadow treasurer Chris Bowen.

NSW Labor has “quarantined” the $100,000 until the investigation is complete – however Federal Labor is enacting the old Harriet Wran defence, by stating that yes, they were there, but they didn’t have anything to do with anything.


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