Former leader of the Labor Party, Bill Shorten MP, has today shown how dedicated he is to denying accusations that the ALP is beholden to the favours requested by Chinese billionaire donors.

Shorten even went as far as taking off his face mask to address the media- even while using public transport.

This is a huge statement by the former Leader – who has recently become fond of wearing surgical face masks to protect his respiratory tract from pollution and infection, and to prevent the spread of any pathogens he might be carrying.

Shorten’s comments follows revelations that the Chinese developer behind the multi-billion-dollar Gold Coast Jewel and One Circular Quay projects, Huang Xiangmo, handed over $100,000 in cash to former NSW Labor party boss Jamie Clements during a private meeting at his office, a corruption inquiry has heard.

Shorten, or Beijing Billy as he is known in the alleyways of Haymarket, has dismissed all claims that his party is basically a wishing well for Chinese dollars.

“Hold up a sec” said Shorten, while taking off his mask.

“Lets make this quick”

“There are no Federal Labor politicians that are, in my opinion, getting too close with the Chinese.”

“I can’t say much for those former Senators and MPs that resigned from politics to work for Crown Casino… Obviously they are… But as it stands, no one in the ALP is at risk of going full Dastyari”

“As for New South Wales Labor… Well. You know what they are like. I thought most of them were in prison by now”

The NSW anti-corruption watchdog – The Independent Commission Against Corruption (ICAC) conducted its first public hearing of a six-week-long inquiry into allegations concerning political donations yesterday.

ICAC will investigate if the state Labor party bent donation rules and laundered up to $100,000 in suss donations during a secret 2015 Labor Party fundraiser in Sydney’s Chinatown.

Bill Shorten and former state leader Luke Foley were there, along with federal shadow treasurer Chris Bowen.

NSW Labor has “quarantined” the $100,000 until the investigation is complete – however Federal Labor says they have nothing to worry about and that Anthony Albanese’s newfound love of bubble tea is something he picked in Marrickville.


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