28 March, 2016. 14:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A CASE OF NIGHT TERRORS has left doctors scratching their heads after a local man still wakes up screaming at all hours of the night after six months of unsuccessful treatments.

It’s a case that’s got the attention of medical professionals around the country.

Community man Anthony Abbott has suffered from night terrors since losing his job last September. Though he says the experience was quite traumatic, he’s still been offered a job which pays roughly half of what he used to receive, but it also comes with a handsome pension.

“I don’t think losing my job has anything to do with my night screaming,” says the 58-year-old former journalist.

“That wasn’t the first job I’ve lost. Every journalist in the country has or will lose their job at some point. I think it goes much deeper than that.”

The curious case of Mr Abbott has lured world-leading neurologist Dr Hans Goerths, an Austrian doctor specialising in sleep yelling. Arriving in Sydney last month, he’s planning to perform a barrage of tests on the avid cyclist.

Goerths has his own opinions as to what might be causing the problem.

“I don’t think it’s the trauma of losing his job that’s the issue here, I think it’s more or less the fact that the man who replaced him is doing a far better job,” said the doctor.

“From my limited understanding of Australian politics, even Simon Crean would’ve beaten him in this year’s election, which speaks volumes of my patient. I’m advising him to stay active in the community, but he needs to give up on his dreams. He’s not Malcolm Turnbull… and he’s certainly not Kevin Rudd.”



  1. Medical science has much to learn. Talking to an old sharman living in Yakutsk,on Skype last night I raised this very topic. “Nocturnal speaking in tongues”, he informs me.
    He checked the bones and was able to tell me that St.Tony the Abbott, canonised before death, is actually the messiah.
    Lord only knows, with the exception of Barnaby the Baptist, he has been trying for 38 years to get the message across in plain English, and Peta Credlin for 8 years in not so plain English, that he is the one sent to lead the great Nation of Oz to the promised land, currently known as Queensland.
    On the appointed day, sometime after July 2nd he will lead us all, up through Roma, to the New Jerusalem, now Quilpie, home of the oldest dinosaur fossil found in Australia.
    “What’s the dinosaur fossil got to do with St.Tony’s vision given mission?” I asked “Great past, no future,” was his reply.


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