World News

DiCaprio’s Greatest Performance Yet, Pretending A Golden Globe Is The Same As An Oscar

11 January, 2016 17:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In what is commonly described as the "armpit of award ceremonies" - thousands of celebrities, some even A-listers, spent their evening watching a less credible list of hosts award less credible awards to the who's who of Hollywood. Less credible when compared to the Oscars, that is. Despite the fact that the Golden Globes is universally-acknowledged to...

White House Releases Photos Of Sean Penn Smoking Marijuana With Osama Bin Laden

11 December, 2016 12:50 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Three months after drug kingpin Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman escaped from prison, he held a secret meeting with actor Sean Penn in a mountainous Mexican jungle, Mexican forces arrested Guzman on Friday after a shootout that ended his freedom after his brazen prison escape in July. In Penn's article, published in Rolling Stone on Saturday, Guzman...

Donald Trump Wants To Ban All Black People From Playing Golf

7 January, 2016 17:30 CHIP DOUGLAS | U.S CORRESPONDENT | CONTACT Donald Trump has back-flipped on his recent efforts to bridge relationships with the black community by sensationally calling to ban all African Americans from all golf courses across America. The proposed racial exclusion policy will take trial at Donald Trump’s privately owned course the Trump National, in New Jersey. It appears Mr Trump has...

Kim Jong-un demands 5 million Rhode Island Pounds to halt further bomb tests

7 January, 2015. 12:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact NORTH KOREAN SUPREME LEADER Kim Jong-un has released a statement via the NK national news broadcaster that five million Rhode Island Pounds, a current defunct since 1793, would halt further thermonuclear tests. In response to North Korea's demands, the US State Department says they're weighting up their options. "In response to the ridiculous demands,...

Obama’s tears are an “attack on the great American pastime of being shot”

6 January, 2016. 15:35 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE PRESIDENT OF THE National Rifle Association, America's most powerful gun lobby, has lashed out at President Obama for getting emotional during a press conference - saying his tears are an affront to an American's constitutional right to own guns and have their lives indiscriminately ended by one. Today, the president unveiled a smorgasbord of...

2015 Determined To Cram In More Despair Before New Year

31 December, 2015 16:55 DUSTIN WAGIN | Contributor | CONTACT Associated Press is reporting that 2015 – a year universally agreed to be a ‘miserable shitstorm of woe and horror’ (according to the UN) – is determined to cram in even more despair before year’s end. “Yep, there’s only three days left but that’s all this bastard year needs, I’m sure,” stated Dr. Turi Korlenzki,...

Mrs Claus Reportedly Suffering Severe Stomach Cramps, Heavy Christmas Period To Blame

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT TROMSØ, NORWAY (AAP) - The wife of a prominent religious figure has been airlifted to hospital from the remote region of Lapland, within the Scandinavian Arctic Circle.  It is reported that the patient, known for her international philanthropy, was struck down by severe stomach cramps and is confirmed to be emotionally exhausted. The patient has been identified as Mrs...

Desperate Middle Eastern Family Forced To Sell Video Of Daughter Having Sex

16 December, 2015 14:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After the loss of their father, a desperate Armenian-American family were forced to sell and distribute a video of their middle daughter having sex in a hotel room, in order to survive - it has been confirmed. "They were forced to.. It was their only option. If they hadn't sold that video when they did,...

Cause of Barack Obama’s constant headache discovered during MRI scan

7 December, 2015. 14:06 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact AFTER INHERITING THE economic, political and foreign policy mistakes of the previous government, US President Barack Obama has revealed that since taking office, he's been struck down by crippling migraines. Doctors at Howard University Hospital in Washington D.C. have finally been able to isolate the cause of the president's headaches, which are clearly...

Obama Takes A Break From Climate Summit To Enjoy French Winter Sun

2 December, 2015 10:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT PALOMA PAGE, France —  Over the next two weeks, 30,000 diplomats and delegates will labor to hammer out a new global pact that would, for the first time, commit nearly every country on earth to enact new policies to reduce their planet-warming greenhouse gas emissions. However, one of the biggest international names to attend the...

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