Local News

The extremely loud blaring of Fleetwood Mac coming from the family living room has confirmed that mum and dad have been tipping a few reds. Voted arguably the greatest album of all time, according to not just dad, Rumours by Fleetwood Mac has seen already seen a couple rotations this afternoon on the family entertainment system - Mum is now trying...

13 April, 2017. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact An insensitive South Betootanese primary teacher has come under fire this afternoon for asking a new arrival to the region if he was born in a tent. Speaking to The Advocate just moments ago, Hazim Al-Kannada, 8, said he was asked a fairly straightforward question and he simply gave a straightforward answer. The...

12 April, 2017. 14:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A senior executive at an bespoke South Betoota private asset management firm has confirmed that he was left bloodied and beaten after being dragged onto a Tiger Airlines flight this afternoon. Walter Huntington-Donoghue, a group CEO at Jocelyn & Connor, planned on departing Remienko Regional Airport this afternoon aboard a Qantas flight to Brisbane...

12 April, 2017. 16:02 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local stand-up comedian has taken time out of his hectic morning routine to visit his Belvwah Road solicitor to write his last will and testament ahead of his show tonight at Betoota Workies. Former Instagram sensation turned actual comic Brett Powell revealed to The Advocate that he's debuting a controversial new...

12 April, 2017. 16:02 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact And just like that, Mikey Playmore was banished from the WhatsApp group. Nobody knew why and nobody dared ask. Most would agree he hadn't really done anything to warrant - but that doesn't matter. When Mark Dollarhyde has had enough of you, you're gone. "He was getting a bit big for his boots," said...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local woman wearing a Julia Stone-style floppy felt hat, is ready to 'do Melbourne' - it has been confirmed. After spending two months in Europe just over eighteen months ago, Dana Ringelstein (22) says she can't bare the thought of spending another year in her 'small little hometown' of one million people. However, despite her outspoken love of...

11 Avril, 2017. 16:02 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Following his dreams into tax accountancy, a fresh university graduate from East Betoota started his first job this morning at J & R Sons Chartered Accountants on Darro Street. Blake Condell was shown to his cubical by the office manager, who said the boss would be along shortly to greet and welcome...

11 April, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Speaking candidly to The Advocate this morning from the front verandah of his South Betoota Queenslander, local septuagenarian Keelan Butterick said that he welcomes a possible nuclear war with the Democratic People's Republic of Korea as he hopes it'll toughen the kids up a bit. Just like the war the Vietnam did for...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Commodore of the Betoota Sailing Club has revealed to friends this afternoon that he's not sure what's wrong with Australian rugby union, but it might have something to do with the 'grassroots' level. From the gunnel of his jibing 34ft ketch, Vred Lesbisk, Commodore Walter Crowlow explained how he felt there was something awry with the game...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The original 'Purple Wiggle' - also known as Jeff Fatt - is in a stable condition today after falling asleep behind the wheel of his brand new Range Rover Evoque during a Sunday morning coffee run. The incident took place in the affluent Sydney suburb of Mosman earlier today, as the red four-wheeled-drive vehicle ran off the road...