Politics

Albo Sympathises With Rural Voters: “As A Young Bloke I Too Lived Through Some Brutal Droughts”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the National Party continues to distance themselves from Scott Morrison ahead of the 2022 Federal Election, bizarre things are beginning to unfold in Canberra. With the Prime Minister told to stay the fuck away from local campaigns by some of his most loyal colleagues, it was the Opposition leader joining the Agriculture Minister at one of the most...

PM Promises To Call Election Once He’s Rigged Every NSW Pre-Selection With Loyal Hillsong Creeps

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Morrison Government have finally hinted that the 2022 Federal Election will be held in mid-May. This comes after months of tumultuous pre-selection dramas throughout NSW, as the different Liberal Party branches across the state work tirelessly to pull together a team of candidates that looks the exact opposite to the Prime Minister and his friends. Ongoing factional warfare has...

Mean Girls Saga Gets Worse As Labor Party Burn Book Leaked

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact The story that the ALP wishes would just fuck off appears to have grown horns today as a leaked document, allegedly penned by the Labor trio dubbed the ‘mean girls’, was leaked to the media. The leaked document titled the Burn Book, features multiple scathing indictments of several notable Labor party members. It was brought to the attention of...

Labor Party Reveal Plans To Parachute Twiggy Forrest Into Outer Melbourne Electorate Of Calwell

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Australian Labor Party has today announced one of the strangest political marriages in history. The Opposition has revealed that they plan to run the second richest man in Australia in the outer Melbourne electorate of Calwell. Home to suburbs like Broadmeadow and Craigieburn, the move has raised plenty of eyebrows, with concerns about how a mining magnate...

Katter: “I Detest Workplace Bullying Of Any Kind, But I Have To Say, These Precious Media Types Certainly Have A Rather Lightweight Definition Of It. Snarky Comments Between Colleagues...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Scotty From Marketing continues to poll worse than any Liberal Prime Minister since the Vietnam War, the only punch that seems to be landing on his Federal Opposition is the overreaching allegations that senior ALP members have effectively conspired to assassinate their own colleagues. Parliament's 'mean girls' saga has surprisingly made more front pages on the Murdoch mastheads...

Staunch Christian Public Servant From Rich Eastern Suburbs Family Not Pretending To Be Anyone Else

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With the recovery effort from a devastating natural disaster now in his rearview, the Prime Minister has gotten stuck into the real issues this week and started campaigning for this upcoming election. Speaking to Aldi Alan Jones on some weird Sky News live show, Scott Morrison has claimed that he isn't actually trying to be someone he's not....

SA Election: Barossa Deutsch Lutherans To Battle It Out With The Ban Alcohol And Catholics Party

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The City Of Churches is alight, as South Australia's political leaders went head-to-head for the first time this election campaign in a fiery debate at the Adelaide Hilton Hotel earlier this afternoon. In case you missed this historic showdown that was broadcast live on ABC 24, there seems to only be two horses in this race. The current SA Government,...

Everyday Bloke Sledges Rivals By Referencing 1962 Psychological Thriller Starring Frank Sinatra

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the Liberal Party's pre-election collapse begins to get desperate, Scotty From Marketing has again accused Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese of being too close to China, This comment comes despite the clear warnings from multiple diplomats and intelligence officers that Beijing will take advantage of these kinds of social divisions that come from politicians trying to start culture wars...

Desperate PM Ramps Up National Security Rhetoric By Calling Wallabies Coach A Kiwi Sleeper Cell

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT To the dismay of middle and upper-class dads around the nation, sports and politics have once again been mixed up today. This comes with Prime Minister Scott Morrison essentially pouring a bit of red bull into some milk, and calling the nation's rugby coach a Kiwi sleeper cell. The strong accusation comes after a bit few days of...

China Admit The South Sydney Houso Flats Wasn’t The Best Place To Plant A Secret Political Agent

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT The Chinese Communist Party have today released a statement in which they admit to making the wrong decision by planting their sleeper cell Anthony Albanese MP in the housing commission flats of Sydney's Camperdown. With the 2022 Federal Election yet to be even called, the Morrison Government is already playing a dirtier game than anyone expected. Faced with unflattering...

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