With the recovery effort from a devastating natural disaster now in his rearview, the Prime Minister has gotten stuck into the real issues this week and started campaigning for this upcoming election.

Speaking to Aldi Alan Jones on some weird Sky News live show, Scott Morrison has claimed that he isn’t actually trying to be someone he’s not.

The claim came after Anthony Albanese’s 60 Minute puff piece aired on Sunday Night, where the Opposition Leader referenced his glow-up and detailed that he’s lost a huge chunk of weight.

That feat, which even people who hate the man can acknowledge is a pretty decent effort, has since drawn the ire of the Prime Minister who tried to claim that he is actually a footy-loving, beer-drinking apathetic middle-class white Australian from Sydney’s Shire region.

“I’m not pretending to be anyone else. I’m still wearing the same sunglasses. Sadly, the same suits. I weigh about the same size and I don’t mind a bit of Italian cake … I’m not pretending to be anyone else,” the PM said.

“And when you’re prime minister, you can’t pretend to be anyone else. You’ve got to know who you are because if you don’t know who you are, then how are other people going to know?”

The interesting policy announcement from the leader of a nation grappling with food shortages, a fuel crisis, a new spicy cough outbreak, and a natural disaster is reportedly an effort to assure voters that he really is an average bloke – not a little rich boy who loves red wine and fine food.

The latest effort at marketing himself as the Bloke in Chief comes despite the fact he grew up in Sydney’s wealthy Eastern Suburbs in a well-off family before attending university to study a degree majoring in Economic Geography.

The Waratahs fan who wishes he had the connection to a league footy team that Albanese has to the South Sydney Rabbitohs then told The Advocate that he’s not ashamed to have a bit of a dad rig.

“Mate, Albo’s just having a mid-life crisis and fixating on becoming Prime Minister,” said Scotty this afternoon.

“Sorry I’m not ashamed of who I am,” continued the man who hates every sip of beer he has.

“Albo’s too focused on looking good instead of doing his job.”

“Besides, who cares about their health anyway.”

More to come.


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