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LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In an act of tone deafness so intense it could only happen in an office, local office manager Kirsty Kringley has insisted on an office Kris Kringle. 2023 has been a ripper year for Kringley who successfully organised a Mother’s Day morning tea, Father’s Day sausage sizzle and 12 monthly birthday cakes, two of which actually occurred on...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The state of Queensland is preparing for a new leadership regime, after the sensational resignation of Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk over the weekend. The last remaining state leader from that weird period of time where everything went into shut down, announced yesterday that she would be stepping aside from the job after almost 9 years in power. After an...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The British sporting press are licking their lips again this week, as one of their favourite subjects continues to provide the goods. Tottenham Hotspur has lost another match in the Premier League, managing to slip even further away from the Premier League title. The slide comes despite the fact the North London club and their fans were were...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After a big few months of negotiating legislation, the nation's Workplace Relations and Employment Minister has today taken a breath to talk about something else. Tony Burke, the rizziest Minister in the nation's history, has decided to bail up colleague David Pocock for a bit of personal advice. "Oi, so what do ya reckon about Super Sets," asked...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Fans of the greatest game of all have today made a desperate plea to an icon. Followers of the game of Rugby League have begged Ray 'Rabbits' Warren to come out of retirement, even just to call one Sydney Roosters game in 2025. The calls come after the financial fraudsters based in Sydney's Eastern Suburbs managed to sign...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT An exhausted teacher from Betoota Ponds Public has today revealed to The Advocate that she's had enough for the year. With another two full weeks of school ahead of her, Megan Nicholson* said she's not sure she's got it in her. "Fuck me," she sighed, after we agreed to change her name for the story. "The kids are...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Proving that they are just like us, the federal government is giving the vaping ban another go, and they really mean it this time. For uncool people, vapes or e-cigarettes are a hookah the size of a pen that produce a nicotine rich vapour that when inhaled sends a tingling tremble down your body that helps everything just fuck...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After a sensational few days of very public bickering, the nation has today decided enough is enough. Former Australian fast bowler Mitchell Johnson and current Australian opener David Warner have been told to sort it out. "Take it to the nets fellas," said an anonymous spokesperson for the nation today. The desire for the two firebrands to sort...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from the self-proclaimed centre of the universe, Sydney has confirmed that it really thought it could build one of the most complex traffic interchanges in the world. The confirmation comes after another morning of complete chaos for commuters in the Harbour Sewer, with "pinch points" around the Anzac Bridge resulting in traffic jams stretching...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Things are seemingly going from bad to worse for Sydney commuters this week, with the Rozelle Interchange fiasco taking another turn. The interchange has made national headlines for turning swathes of roads and tunnels into parking lots, with the loudest noise coming from the people in the Inner West furious that they also have to put up with...