IN-Focus

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A weird fast food chain that looks familiar, but isn't, has spent the last twenty years only existing inside airports, and not doing any form of marketing. Although the coffee/smoothie/sandwich bar has similar branding to Gloria Jeans and Boost Juice, it's overpriced products are quite shit, and they seem to make a motza as the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After acquiring Mount Munrow Station from the E.H. Pearson Cattle Company late last year, The Private School Gap-Year Pastoral Company is welcoming their inaugural crop of first-year jackaroos to town later this week to a considerable amount of local fanfare. Mount Munrow manager Phil Taranaway told The Advocate this morning that he's excited to see...

8 March, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Having done his visa-extending time on a North Queensland banana farm this time last year, Connor Liston's time in Australia is quickly coming to an end. Being a mix of homesick and too useless to sponsor, the 27-year-old is making all necessary preparations to make the long-haul journey from his shared South...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After only six weeks back in the game, a local ex-girlfriend has recently bombarded social media with photographic evidence of her new active lifestyle - in a trendy new gym, in a trendy new suburb. The 28-year-old by the name of Jenna was recently broken up with, by her commitment-phobe boyfriend, James, who after 18 months, still hadn't...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The mayor of Armidale in in New South Wales' north-west has today declared that Betoota Bitter is the best thing to happen to their town since Dean Widders. Speaking to Channel 7 out front of the New England town's McDonalds this morning, Councillor Herman Beyersdorf said that having Betoota Bitter on tap at the White Bull Hotel tonight made...

3 March, 2017. 17:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After getting another rinsing from his wife about wasting money, a local coal seam gas worker walked into a North Betoota art gallery looking to invest his earning more wisely. However, the owner-operator of the Gumnut Cafe & Gallery on MacGuiver St thought Michael Craig was lost. Not because he lost the ability to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After twisting their arms, Glenn Kruger finally got the boys to change the post-work drinking venue to the newly opened Le Coq Et La Bouche Cafe - a local French-inspired beer cafe. Occupying the former Cattleman's Hotel site on the corner of Cordillo Rd and Marlboro Street in Betoota's Old City district, the trendy new Francophile watering hole is...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact An ordinary day on the tools has turned sour for one West Betootanese carpenter after an innocent lunchtime party pie left him with first-degree burns to the roof of his mouth. Hired to construct a cubby house for a local banker's child, local chippy Henry Washbrook and his two offsiders had lunch prepared by the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Katie, a mild mannered local PR account director is actually an absolute sex pest when it comes to the deep dark archives of her girls-only group chat, it has been confirmed. While not often revealing too much about her degenerate Whatsapp alias, recent findings show that Katie and her friends are extremely vulgar, sexually charged voyeurists. Her boyfriend Karl, was given a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Even though it's only fairly early on this arvo, a third schooner is looking like a good idea, it has been confirmed. While nipping into his local to meet a few of his mates who share the same marital status and flakey attitude towards work, 29-year-old James Ropedale says he reckons this third schooey is going to go down...