3 March, 2017. 17:45

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

After getting another rinsing from his wife about wasting money, a local coal seam gas worker walked into a North Betoota art gallery looking to invest his earning more wisely.

However, the owner-operator of the Gumnut Cafe & Gallery on MacGuiver St thought Michael Craig was lost. Not because he lost the ability to breathe through his nose after a childhood accident with a microwave oven. Not because he ordered a double shot tall mocha with four marshmallows before walking into the gallery.

He was asked if he was lost because he was wearing a motorsport team shirt – the antithesis of an art lover.

“Yeah, look. My wife [Julie] said if I bought another set of battery-powered power tools or a jet ski, she’d march me down to the doctors and get my man beads disconnected – a ‘vesecymony’ [sic] or whatever it’s called.”

“Anyway, this fucken dork came up to me and asked if I was lost. You should’ve seen the prick, dressed like an engineer when they come out to make sure us dumb fucks aren’t looking for gas down the wrong hole or something. Timbs, chinos, some checkered shirt and a pair of Bailey Nelsons on top of his head. So of course I gave him a piece of my mind.”

The 34-year-old then launched into a tirade, explaining to the art gallery employee that he was here to invest ‘cold hard cash’ in one of these ‘wok-eyed’ paintings and that if he wasn’t going to help him, he’d go to the next gallery on Macadamia Raod.

After some discussion, Craig bought 17 artworks for a total of $3500.

Feeling chuffed with his investment, he stopped by the Betoota Hotel for a quick afternoon pot. A short time later, a scud blew over a rain all over the art still sitting in the back of his Hilux.

More to come.



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