ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

After sunning themselves over Easter in Bali, the future leaders of the nation have once again left Australia in search of relaxation and cheaper drugs.

Close to ten thousand of the nation’s brightest privately-educated superstars have descended on the Adriatic Sea this week for Croatia Yacht Week – a seven-day-long festival of unbridled hedonism.

Touching down in the popular tourist hotspot of Split, James Wallace-Page III spoke briefly to The Advocate via an encrypted end-to-end messenger service about what he has planned for his wid-winter getaway.

“Get some cheap bags [of cocaine] and head out on the water,” he said.

“Basically that’s it. You’re basically making money each time you do drugs in Europe. It’s so grouse,”

“If you think we’re going to get some culture while we’re over here, that’s where you’re wrong. That’s what family holidays to Europe are for. When we go with our parents and siblings. It’s a bit hard to get on the nose beers with Mum around,”

“She was a bit of a party girl in the 80s so she knows what’s up and what’s down.”

However, in a first for James, he’s invited a close state-educated friend of his along from the trip.

Daniel Pitman, a colleague of Wallace-Page’s, took the time to speak with our reporters on the telephone – instead of just texting him.

He’s offered a different insight into the Yacht Week celebrations, saying that his humble public education taught him to appreciate the little things in life that can make you happy.

“These guys are my friends, so I don’t want to say anything bad about them,” he said.

“But fuck me dead, mate. They’re pretty fucked in the head. At work, it’s all fucking, ‘I can’t afford a house in a suburb that I think I deserve to live in,’ and so on but then you see them walk up to an ATM with an Amex in their hand and they cash advance ‎€300,”

“Madness, but fuck me roan. It’s pretty fucking good here, who needs a fucking house.”

More to come.


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