ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un has shot another swathe of high-ranking party officials today after yet another intercontinental ballistic missile failed to hit its target.

Peter Desmond, from a shadowy government department that doesn’t officially exist, told The Advocate that up to seven senior members of the Workers’ Party of Korea were taken out the back of their Pyongyang barracks and shot moments after the ICBMs crashed into the Northern Pacific.

“We’ve heard Kim is not happy that another missile has failed to turn the Japanese island of Hokkaido into a literal glass bowl,” said Desmond, who assured our reporters that wasn’t his real name.

“The intellegence [sic] we’re getting out of the Hermit Kingdom is very good and I can tell you on good authority that Kim went into a blind rage and ordered those responsible to be executed with a plastic bag one by one,”

“Such brutality. But we in the business of doing things like that in the name of the greater good are happy the nuclear device didn’t find its target.”

From what the intelligence community is able to gather, this morning’s rocket attack on Japan is the latest in a string of attempted missile attacks on Japan by North Korea in recent years.

Desmond has told us it won’t be the last time, which is chilling.

More to come.


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