CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Jesus Christ’s much-anticipated return has been stalled, it has been revealed by the 2059 year old religious figure today.
The son of God says he worries that in this particular political climate, his messages will be misinterpreted as an assault on the religion that he pretty much started.
It is believed that his previous life as a working class socialist who spread the word of love and unity across all religions and economic classes, does not align with contemporary canon law.
After dabbling with his return on online political forums, Jesus has found that modern Christians are very quick to call him a ‘cuck’ or ‘SJW’ [social justice warrior] or even a ‘snowflake’
“I tried to engage someone on the topic of loving thy neighbour” he says.
“His username was ProudChristian87 – I thought we’d be on the same level”
“He told me all Mexicans are rapists and that I am a bleeding heart race traitor”
“Doesn’t he know I’m Middle Eastern?”
It is also believed that if Christ were to return, he would struggle in his efforts to visit the USA – the largest Christian nation in the world – as his place of birth in the West Bank of Palestine automatically puts him at risk of being denied entry under President Trump’s stringent vetting.
