The United States of America has confirmed today that they can’t wait to kick things off with the Islamic Republic of Iran.

The Home of the Brave and the Land of The Free are reportedly keen as to tee off on the uppity Middle Eastern country in an effort to stop all of these unavoidable shootings that keep happening in their country.

“Yeah, we have had enough of sending our thoughts and prayers to the victims and their family’s who have been affected by these completely pointless shootings,” explained a patriotic spokesperson for America.

“The impending war should stop all these terrorists shooting up public places, and teach Iran and the Middle East that they can’t mess with the star-spangled banner.”

The further escalating situation with the country of Iran looks set to come at a perfect time for the divided states of America which refuses to do anything about the greatest threats to its citizens, unmitigated access to firearms and the lack of health care.

“Sending in our troops should solve the issue of nerdy white incel virgins who spend too much time on the internet letting out their frustrations with a gun.”


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