Young Labor Member and staunch advocate for the redistribution of wealth across Australian economic classes, Ella Wentworth (19) has made a promise to her comrades within the higher tertiary educational institution to which her father pays roughly $35k per year her to attend.

She’s made a promise to never rest, until their demands are met.

“They think they can do this to us?!” she roars.

Ella is, of course, referring to the recent decision by Sydney University to increase the price of coffee in their library cafe, from $3.50 to $4.20.

“$4.20!?” she screams through a megaphone.

“First they came for our compulsory union fees. And I said nothing, because I was in primary school”

“Then they came for our vending machines and I said nothing”

“But, today. They made it clear. They don’t care about us! It’s not about us! It’s about their private interests and all the money they make from us!”

According to Ella, this is one of those kinds of injustices that politicise a whole generation – of people privileged enough to go to a sandstone university.

“We can do this Comrades. They want us to crumble. We won’t!”

Ella’s friends, a crowd made up of highly politicised only-childs wearing red Young Labor t-shirts, begin cheering.






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